Gentle guides

Newborns sleep a lot, but in short stretches, through the day and the night. Long nights come later, and at different times for different babies.

• Short sleep cycles. A baby’s sleep cycle is much shorter than an adult’s, so they surface often. Brief waking is normal, not a sign that something is wrong.
• Active sleep. Newborns spend much of their sleep in a light, active stage. Twitching, grunting, fluttering eyes and irregular breathing for a few seconds are common.
• Day and night. Babies aren’t born knowing day from night. Daylight and normal sounds by day, and dim, quiet, boring night feeds, can help that rhythm develop over the first months.
• Waking to feed. Small stomachs mean frequent feeds, at night too. Your pediatrician can tell you whether to wake your baby for feeds in the early days.

These are from the American Academy of Pediatrics’ safe sleep recommendations, for every sleep, day and night, until your baby’s first birthday.

• On the back, for every nap and every night.
• A firm, flat surface, such as a crib, bassinet or play yard that meets current safety standards, with only a fitted sheet.
• Nothing else in the sleep space. No pillows, blankets, bumpers or soft toys.
• Share the room, not the bed, ideally for at least the first six months.
• Never sleep with your baby on a sofa or armchair. If you might fall asleep while feeding, it is safer to be in your bed with soft items moved away than on a sofa.
• Car seats, swings and slings aren’t for routine sleep. If your baby falls asleep in one, move them to a flat surface when you can.
• Don’t overheat. Dress your baby in no more than one layer more than you would wear. Avoid weighted sleep sacks and weighted swaddles.
• Stop swaddling once your baby shows signs of trying to roll.
• Keep the air smoke-free, around your baby and in your home and car.

More: Safe to Sleep (NIH).

Newborns feed often, day and night. Watching your baby usually tells you more than the clock does.

• Early hunger cues: stirring, turning toward your hand or chest (rooting), sucking on hands, smacking lips.
• Crying is a late cue. A crying baby may need calming before they can feed well.
• Signs of being full: relaxed hands, turning away, slowing down, falling asleep.

If you’re worried about feeding, wet diapers or weight, talk to your pediatrician or a lactation consultant.

All babies cry, and some cry a lot. Crying often increases over the first weeks, then eases. It is not a sign that you are doing anything wrong.

• Things that often help: holding close, skin-to-skin, gentle rocking or swaying, soft shushing, a pacifier, a feed, or a diaper change.
• Sometimes nothing works, and that is normal too.
• If you feel overwhelmed, it is OK to put your baby down safely on their back in the crib, step away for a few minutes, and breathe. Call someone you trust.
• Never shake a baby.

Your rest matters too. Sleep when you can, say yes to help, and let some things wait.

Feeling tearful or up and down in the first two weeks after birth is common. If low mood, anxiety or feeling unlike yourself lasts longer, or feels heavy, talk to your healthcare provider. That goes for partners too.

The National Maternal Mental Health Hotline is free, confidential, and open 24/7 in English and Spanish: call or text 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262). About the hotline.

If you have thoughts of harming yourself or your baby, call or text 988, or call 911.

Call 911 if your baby has trouble breathing, has blue or gray lips or skin, is limp, or can’t be woken.

Call your pediatrician right away if your baby is younger than 3 months and has a temperature of 100.4°F (38°C) or higher, or if they:

• are feeding much less than usual or refusing feeds,
• have far fewer wet diapers than usual,
• are unusually sleepy, floppy or hard to wake,
• have yellowing skin or eyes that is spreading or getting stronger.

And any time something feels wrong to you. You know your baby.

Where to read more

• HealthyChildren.org, from the American Academy of Pediatrics
• Safe to Sleep, from the National Institutes of Health
• National Maternal Mental Health Hotline, from HRSA